


It all started with a goodbye

by IffyIffyYahYahIffyIffyYah



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, I do not support KillgraveXJessica, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson Friendship, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, POV Jessica Jones, POV Matt Murdock, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, THAT IS ABUSIVE, i suck at writing sorry, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 17:34:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15418056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IffyIffyYahYahIffyIffyYah/pseuds/IffyIffyYahYahIffyIffyYah
Summary: Half a year after Matthew Murdock "dies' Jessica visits his church to say goodbye, because she's done with life and wants to stop. Turns out Murdock isn't dead, and is at church.Trigger warning in this story! Suicide, rape, swearing, alcohol, nudity





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading~

* * *

**Introduction**

* * *

 

 _Jessica Jones_ isn’t afraid to admit when she’s hit the limit of shit she can handle.

 

She hit that limit the moment she discovered **Killgrave** was alive.

 

Then _Luke_

 

Then her _Mother_

 

Then the _hand_.

 

Then _Matthew_ _Murdock_.

 

 

She doesn’t believe in god, but if she did she would be screaming at him right now. “ _Why_? Why the fuck does this all have to happen to _me_.” The last straw, as pathetic as this is, was when Oscar left her. He couldn’t deal with her drinking anymore, couldn't watch her destroy herself anymore. Well guess what, she can’t either.  So now she’s admitting that she's done. She hit her limit and leaped past it, into a swirling abyss.

So here she is, outside of Matthew Murdock's old church, _sober_. Jessica Jones hasn't been _sober_ in a _very_ long time. She questions herself if she can just turn around, not go inside. Just walk away. But she goes inside anyway.

She hasn’t said goodbye to anyone yet, she doesn’t know if she will.

But it’s easier to say goodbye to someone who’s already dead.

 **Probably**.

* * *

 

||Credit to Neumann for this ->

Hmm there're fics where they're just disasters together, fics where they fix each other; what about a fic where they are cool being disasters together, knowing that it's likely not gonna get serious because of that, but somewhere down the line they start improving their own bad behavior for each other and for themselves subconsciously?

Like, Jess starts drinking a bit less and less because a) she realizes slowly that Matt's company doesn't require it, b) she would like to sober to remember all Matt's dumbassery to properly rub in his face later, and c) she needs to be more sober for when his dumbassery gets bloody

Likewise, Matt actually takes Jessica's advice when it comes to taking a bit better care of himself because a) she understands recklessness and guilt better than foggy ever could, and b) he doesn't want their hangouts being overtaken by stitches and pain and guilt the whole time

This would all be gradual until oops, they caught feelings and oh no, that was some sexual and romantic tension theyve been feeling. However will they handle this.

My assumption would be the point of the story would be for them to find wellness and a stable relationship more than to fight any external threat. Well shit, I may have just written an outline. God dammit if only I got any satisfaction from writing my own story ideas||

 

 


	2. Chapter One(What the fuck?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica finds out Matthew Murdock is alive, and can't seem to think anything other than "What the fuck?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~

**Chapter One**

**What the fuck?**

* * *

 

“Oh fuck it, just go inside already.” Jessica mutters to herself before pushing open the doors that lead into Matthew Murdock's church. As soon as she open the doors Father Lantom is there to greet her. The rest of the church is empty apart from a few stragglers. Probably due to the fact that it's past 11 p.m. 

“Hello Jessica, what brings you here tonight?” Father Lantom asks, a kind smile adorning his face.

“How do you know who I am?” She eyes him suspiciously. 

“Matthew talked about you quite often, it's a pleasure to finally meet you in person Miss Jones." Jessica freezes at that name, she hasn't heard it since Matthew died. 

“I'm.. here to talk to Matthew Murdock. Well, his grave I mean." Father hesitates, he knows Matthew is alive.

“Of course, would you like me to show you where he is?” He offers kindly, but Jessica shakes her head. 

"No thanks, I can get there on my own." As soon as the girl finishes her answer, she walks off to the back of the church. She goes through the back door into the yard, which leads to the graveyard. Jessica spends a couple moments trying to find his grave before she finds it. Then stands there awkwardly for a while before she speaks.

“Uh, hey Matt. You probably can’t even hear me talking but uh, sorry for not coming to your funeral. My visit is a bit late, I guess I couldn't handle the guilt of letting you die. Which, i'm sorry for for that.” She mutters the last bit to herself. “So uh.. That’s about it. Just here to say goodbye." She places the bouquet of Stargazer lilies on his grave.

" _Goodbye, Matthew Murdock._ "

“ _Jessica_?” Jessica Jones has never felt so many emotions that quickly. Happiness, hope, surprise, sadness, guilt, shock. She turns around to see Matthew Murdock, standing a couple feet away from her.

 ** _Alive_**.

" _What the fuck?"_

"I'm sorry for not coming to you guys sooner, Jessica."

Jessica just stands there, watching him. "Aren't you dead?" She questions him, not quite processing what's happening.

"Well, _no_. I'm alive." Matthew answers, visibly hesitating. He can hear how uneven her breathing is, how fast her heart is beating.

"Am I hallucinating? Or is this some kind of dream?" She's mostly talking to herself, it wouldn't be the first time Jessica has had hallucinations. Or nightmares.

“Jessica, calm down. I know it’s a lot but i’m alive. I survived.”

" _What the fuck."_ This is too much for her right now, she's already hit her limit. 

"You're not hallucinating, this isn't a dream." Matthew grabs her hand to bring it to his chest, but she flinches away at the touch. Jessica Jones doesn't like to be touched.

 _"You're alive."_ Jessica barely whispers, but Matt hears it.

" _How?_ I  _watched_ that building fall on you.  _I dropped the elevator."_ Her voice is still barely a whisper, because if she speaks any louder she might cry.

"Elektra saved me somehow, I don't really remember. Are you okay? Why were you saying goodbye?"

"I hit my limit." Was all she said before taking out her phone, punching in a number, and pressing call. As soon as it goes through she speaks.

 

" _Luke_."

 


End file.
